Common interests, supporting each other is key to long-lasting friendship
By Anna Leah Swafford and Lisa Danford
A good friend is someone you can trust, rely on for support and enjoy spending time together. Friendships, especially ones that last for many years, can look different for different people.
Ben Miller and Josh Bruening have known each other since second grade. Annie Callan and Jenny Crowe have lived together for 20 years. Their relationships are different, but both friendships are built on trust and support.
"I will always be there to help him"
Sometimes, friendship just clicks. Ben Miller and Josh Bruening met in second grade when they were in Cub Scouts. They shared similar interests—Pokéman, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Disney movies.
Through Scouts, Miller and Bruening got to know each other and developed a lifelong friendship. “I’ve always had trouble making new friends because I’ve always been different. Ben was my first friend who was always willing to include me,” Bruening said.
“We started going to movies and Reds’ games together. The fact that we both had autism gave us common ground, although I didn’t know I was autistic until I was in college.”
Other shared interests include going to comic conventions and travel. Both cite visiting Europe as one of their favorite vacations together. “One of our favorite memories is when we went to London,” Miller said. “We went on a tour that took us to Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, and the Roman Baths.”
During that trip, their close friendship and trust in each other was key. Bruening said he has a poor sense of direction and got lost at the Roman Baths. Miller helped him find his way back to the tour bus, so he didn’t get left behind.
In Paris, Miller was pick-pocketed. They were scared and didn’t know what do. Bruening offered to pay until they both returned to the United States. “No matter the situation, Ben is always there to help keep me calm, and I will always be there to help him,” Bruening said.
Being there for each other, through good and bad, is one reason their friendship has lasted so long. “When my first girlfriend broke up with me, Josh was one of the first people I let know,” Miller said.
“We’ve been supportive of each other’s jobs and lives. We often celebrate birthdays together. Plus, whenever one of us goes on vacation without the other, we bring each other back souvenirs.”
Bruening added that Miller has helped bring him out of his comfort zone and meet new people. After decades of friendship, both Miller and Bruening have much in common. Together, they enjoy life’s everyday things like rewatching ‘90s TV shows, as well as life’s grand adventures like international travel. It’s all about having someone by your side.
"We’re more like sisters"
“Well, I’m very funny and you’re very serious,” Jenny Crowe said to Annie Callan with a deadpan smile. Crowe and Callan both live in Madeira, in a home operated by LADD.
They’ve been roommates for 20 years, but their paths first crossed in high school when they had a mutual teacher. Later, the pair got to know each other at University of Cincinnati Blue Ash College, then known as Raymond Walters College, in a program for students with disabilities.
Throughout the past two decades, their friendship has evolved. “We’re more like sisters,” Crowe said. Like sisters, there is a bit of friendly competition. Blair Witt, who has known both women for almost 18 years, said the Timberlane house is like family. “At the core, they love each other.”
Callan and Crowe are strong advocates and part of the LADD’s Empowerment Committee. “We’re doing stuff together on this committee, and that’s helped develop our relationship,” Callan said. “Enabling people with disabilities to advocate for our city, that’s been a great way to make our relationships stronger, by doing this together.”
The pair’s advocacy accomplishments include working on an accessible restroom project in Cincinnati, speaking with lawmakers in Columbus, and addressing the community for Disability Pride. For their work, they both were honored with an award at LADD’s 50th anniversary celebration.
Phyllis Thomas has known Callan and Crowe for 21 years. She’s encouraged them to work together but also develop their sense of independence. Thomas has seen their relationship change over the years and, despite having their own interests, still lean on each other.
“What I love with Annie and Jenny’s relationship is that when Annie needs more support, like on the computer or with reading, she’ll go to Jenny and they’ll work on it and talk about it,” she said.
Both women both turned 40 last year. Though some people encouraged them to have separate parties, they chose to celebrate their birthdays together. They planned the guest list, the food, decorations and more. “We collaborated and had an excellent party,” Crowe said.
In addition to the Empowerment Committee, Callan said they have a lot in common, exercise together each week, and go to some of the same social activities.
Friendships can ebb and flow, but they’re glad to be in each other’s lives. “It’s about connection and love and being kind to one another,” Crowe said.
